Sunday, May 3, 2009

Adapt?


On September 11, 1976. when my first and oldest daughter (The Prodigy) was born, my life changed substantially. When she got old enough to walk and talk we attempted to instill into her certain virtues and practices etc. As a child growing up I was taught to always refer to my elders with the utmost of respect. I was required to say yes sir and no sir to anyone remotely appearing as an adult. I am 57 years old now and I still do it. As much as the first Mrs Da Third and I tried, we could not get the Prodigy to do as both of us had been raised. It was yeah and no and we would go as far as punishing her but it still did not work. I spoke to Odessa, (my mother) and lamented. I had hoped she would give me the wisdom to teach my child but instead she berated me. "Things change Tommy" she said. It is a different age and we must learn to live with it. Bullshit I replied. But she just smiled and told me not to curse in front of my mother and told me to adapt.

I have been writing blogs now for six months. that does not make me an expert or even a novice for that matter. But I beg the perseverance of my readers for this posting. It is something I must do. I promise to start working on my reality show but this must be done first.

As I was traveling to Maryland last December I learned that my youngest child was pregnant. She was nearly 19 years at the time and unmarried. The way I learned hurt the most. The Prodigy called me after reading The Rock Star Mentality's my space page. The Rock Star Mentality did not tell me directly. I had to learn along with everyone else reading the Internet. I am her father yet she chose to share this information for the world to read. I was stunned and insulted. Yet she seemingly saw nothing truly wrong. Frankly I do not think she does now either. Like her name sake told me a long time ago, things change so I should adapt. I still say bullshit.

I have to the best my ability for the past several months, attempted not to say or do anything that would upset the fragile egg shell existence between me and The Rock Star Mentality. Essentially I have ignored her and had as little interaction with her as possible. I am not sure she is mentally capable of comprehending that I miss her terribly. Hell, I am not sure she really cares if I miss her or not. My wife tells me it is because she is exactly like me. If that is true then I am much larger prick than I thought I was. But now after pounding my head against the wall one more time, I am beginning to feel that I had best stop being so stubborn and do as my mother said so many years ago. Perhaps by my example, others may follow. Perhaps even RSM.


As much as I am insulted and wounded by The Rock Star Mentality, I have to say I do admire her independence. That is a good virtue at least up to a point. She occasionally reads this blog and usually give me a candid statement about it. Well if she is reading this I hope she really reads what I am about to say. Are you ready? Wait for it..........










The seventeenth century English poet, John Donne penned in his famous prose Devotions upon Emergent Occasions the following:




"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."
I hope one day she understands what that means. STOP Read the quote again. In fact, read it till it really sinks in.

So, in about a period of 36 hours I became a grandfather a second time Levi Rafe was born Friday May 1 at about 8:30 AM. My youngest chose to offer her child for an open adoption. She has found a good and loving couple who will nurture The Little Man and provide him a good life. I am not sure how much I will interact with my new grandchild. In whatever way I do, I suppose I will have to adapt. He is the closest male living relative I have since my father died nearly 10 years ago. As I held him today before handing him to the person who will be raising him I whispered to him. "Little Man, Big Cat loves you.". If his new family needs me to "man him up" I will happy to do so.

So I suppose Odessa (both of them) are right "Things change" . I will adapt. But under my breath I sigh bullshit!








Yours very truly








Big Cat Daddy (The Third)

1 comment:

  1. I can only say unbeknownst to RSM... that child is the spitting image of you as a baby! I have numerous pictures to prove this statement. TheJim says that he like all other babies looks like a young, wrinkled Winston Churchill; although I am not even sure what Churchhill looks like. I can say that I agree with my late grandmother. Sometimes you have to be the adult...like it or not and by being the Adult you are the one that must mend the fence. This sounds moronic I know but I truly believe in this instance it is necessary. I love you Big Cat Daddy and hope that this too shall pass. Now I must get back to finals... talk to you soon. J.R.

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