Another Hump Day Tradition

In the last couple of days I have noted at least three new reality series are going to be aired soon. One is about the Navy Seals. I think it should be good. I am sure it is because of the recent action against the Somalian Pirates. Now I may not be a rocket scientist and my political opinion (I did meet Glenn Beck once. He is a big supporter and contributor to the Rachel Jauma Fund) may not be what my readerships is looking for, but the situation with the pirates seems pretty simple. If it was my decision I would deploy a few Coast Guard Cutters and a U. S. Navy ship or two and I would blow those fuckers completely out of the water. I am sure a couple of cruise missiles would do the job quite well. I would put a serious fear of Jesus in those assholes. Now THAT would be a great reality show. No sense in trying to negotiate just obliterate.

I have revisited my last two postings. Ok, they may not be my best but if one is really paying attention one should find an underlying subliminal message. You just have to dig deeper. I shall continue with my Beer 201 lesson later but I need your assistance. I need to know which channels would be the best to approach about my impending series. My bride watches a lot of reality television and as a result I guess I do to. She used to watch a lot of old re runs such as the The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie. She watches 7th Heaven and falls to sleep watching (or listening to) re runs of the Cosby Show. She records and watches movies from Lifetime and the We Networks, or the estrogen channels as I call them. If I had to list her favorite movies I would say Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing and In Harm's Way would top her list. Yes the later is a John Wayne war movie. I suppose I have influenced her a little bit. But if you really watch the movie you will see it is sort of a chick movie.
She watches John and Kate and the show about little people and the Biggest Loser and The Great Race. She is not into soap operas and most sports. She will watch a Tiger football game on occasion. She likes Dancing with the Stars as well as NCIS and a few other scripted television shows. She hates professional wrestling and NASCAR. As far as NASCAR is concerned I tend to agree with her. My God, it is about as thrilling as watching a a cricket match between India and Bangladesh. Some of my co workers spend big bucks on NASCAR. They wear their 3s or 88's or 48's or 99's with pride. Personally I am waiting to see a sport derived of racing Cigarette boats. It too would be a sport (and I use that word loosely) derived from smuggling illegal cargo. My brother in law Mark tells me that you have to go to a race to really understand it. I tend to think he may be right. I do know that they let you bring your own beer into the stands. That is pretty cool.

When I was a lot younger, my friend Gary and I would go to dirt track races. We frequented Hill Top and Boot Hill race track. Gary had been working at his father and uncle's machine shop since he was old enough and he saved up some money and purchased two 1958 Ford Thunderbirds. He used one for parts and built the other to race. He and I (and a few others) worked on his cars to make them ready to race. After a few months Gary enter a race and actually did pretty well. He raced nearly every weekend and I was a member of his pit crew. My girl friend Becky's dad (James) thought that was a very cool thing indeed. As a result both Gary and I were invited to go with James and his brother to a secret location on nearby Wallace Lake to go frog gigging. After a few months of racing and a few trophies, Gary relented and said I could drive his car in a race. The "amateur" race lasted 3 laps. The big day arrived and I crawled inside the drivers seat of old number 2. Gary picked that number because it was my number when I played high school football and baseball. Ok, I wont lie . Gary really did not pick the number. I painted the number on his car when he was not looking. We raced around the track and I looked up and saw the green flag. I gunned it and I was in first place. As we finished lap number one I still held the lead and I was beginning to think the trick was to get in first place and stay there. Then this metallic green 1968 four door Lincoln Continental with a back seat so large you could fit a large family of Mexicans in, crept up beside me. I recall seeing a dollar sign spray painted on the side. The number 5 was painted rather than an S in the $. This guy was trying to steal my glory and I was not going to allow it. I gently moved to my right to push him out of the way but he did not move. Our cars touched and it was then that I over compensated and Number 2 was rolling over and over and over. I remember feeling my pants to see if I wet my self when I came to an upright position. I was so scared and then pissed off. Then embarrassed because I did not even finish a three lap race. Thus ended the Third's illustrious racing career. Who knows what may have happened had I actually won. I do know Becky broke up with me. And James her dad, never took me gigging again.

Speaking of Professional wrestling, what in the hell is this draft that they have? It makes absolutely no sense. I know it is programming and kayfabe, but it is pretty strange. Then again I do not understand rotisserie league baseball either.

I realize I have strayed once again. But I have decided to add something new and exciting to The Brew Chronicles, a journal of thingsBeer. Opinionated Wednesdays. One of my son in laws has a blog. (I am not sure my other son in laws knows what a blog is.) Anyway as I have mentioned before I started TBC by his example. Recently he started haiku Wednesdays and I have attempted to submit a haiku each Wednesday. Here is today's submittal.

A Cold Brown Bottle
Golden Liquid Staff of Life
Magic One More Time

Now I realize I could have a Opinionated Friday or Monday but they just do not feel right. I hope between The Jim and I , that we have not ruined hump day.

As far as my Wednesday opinion.....Well I quote from above.....

" blow those fuckers completely out of the water"

The Third

Post script:

Now I have never done this before but I wanted to add something more. In The Jim's latest blog (not withstanding his Wednesday Haiku submission) he showed a picture of this plastic horse. When I was growing up in Shreveport, I used to pass Packard's Western Store on South Youree Drive. They had this huge horse up on a sign. It was just like the one pictured on the aforementioned blog. More than once, my friend Gary and I would get beered up and sneak up and paint it's balls blue. Later I became very good friends with a guy by the name of Larry. I mentioned him a couple of times in my previous blogs. He is the Larry I went to Colorado with. He is a former college roommate. I introduced him to his wife. His son, born on my birthday is named after me. He stepfather was Ivan Packard the owner of the mentioned western store. Larry used to tell me about how he and his brother had to repaint the balls of the horse because of vandals. I hope Larry never reads this blog. 3rd