Sunday, March 29, 2009

You Do Not Buy Beer. You Only Rent It.








Ok, I have to admit that too much free time has led to a constant barrage of my ramblings. You, the readership will have to wait at least a week before I can add to the continuing saga. That may be a good thing. I at least warned you that I was going to be emptying out my "drafts" folder. So the last couple of blogs may seem unfocused or at least not so user friendly. It is about six hours before I leave with Uncle Roger for a 15 hour journey to the Rocky Mountain State.

I think I have made it pretty clear that I love Oregon and Oregon Beer. Portland is home to more microbreweries and tittie bars than any other U.S. city. It is also the suicide capitol of the U.S. Until recently Oregon was the micro brew capitol of the country, but, Colorado has now claimed that prize and I am going there. I am looking forward to trying some beers from Ska Brewery, TommyKnocker and Avery Brewing. I am gong to try and convince (possibly beg) my fellow Pub Crawler to take me to visit Flying Dog. That would be awesome. That brewery is actually based in Delaware but they have a Brew Pub in Denver. Of course I will bring some home as well as some from Odell's and "Forty Collins".

I think a few days away from the Vaio may be refreshing even if I do have to spend those days in the company of my fellow Power Loads. The last time I drove through Colorado, actually nearly a year ago, I wanted to stop by Trinidad Brewing in Trinidad Co.. I wanted to purchase a tee shirt there. I did stop, but it was not open at the time. Later that same day I visited the Left Hand Brewing Company in Longmont and had a few pints and purchased a $ 30 Batik tee shirt.


The Mrs The Third has placed me on a tight budget (being that I have not worked in so long). I pleaded with her asked if she wanted me to drink Premium Beer (didn't she). She said that if that was the case then I can eat cracker instead of real food.

So I sign off and look forward to a week of snow, good brew and bickering.

Love always,


The Third

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Take Care of Planet Earth, it is The Only One With Beer

Like I said I have been a blogging mill of late. I am now coming to the end of the current string. I spent last evening with my bride rejoicing in the prospects of our second oldest, the Prodigal returning to the Lone Star State and the potential of our stardom. My oldest has reminded me that I still have two other children and of their apparent lack of recognition in my soon to be famous blog. Damn, I finally placate one of my children only to be burdened with other people's feelings. Is this the price of notoriety? Are all of my minions constantly wanting the limelight? Well I have contemplated the concept and after much thought, I recall the history of my ancestors . The oldest child essentially inherited everything, the second oldest served in the military and the other sibling were essentially delegated to the priesthood, religious orders or sold in slavery.


The two youngest should consider themselves lucky. I have mentioned them and just might again in the future. I admit after a barrage of moans and groans I did relent and mention the Prodigal in a couple of writings. But the other two should not think I will be such a pushover in the future. With my new celebrity I am getting a backbone.

A few minutes ago I received a text message from a co worker. She had recently visited
TBC for the first time. I actually feel that my writings may have changed her life. Well at least she did say that she liked reading them. This person is one of a select few of my co workers that I actually enjoy drinking beer with. She has been on pub crawls with me. Portland Or. and Bethlehem, Pa. to name a couple. While on my Bethlehem Pub Crawl she purchased a tee shirt that said something like "Take care of Planet Earth, it is the only one with beer". If I recall the pub was a Lesbian bar. I was one of only two men in the whole place. The other guy was wearing a Scottish Skirt. So welcome.

My Dad used to lament and say if I did not "apply" myself in school that I would end up as a ditch digger. I did not know what that job entailed but from the way he turned his nose up to the prospect, I sure as hell did not want to be one. The other night while setting at the bar at my fav pub, I heard someone say that in tough economic time people still went to the pubs. Well I guess that is true. That comment reminds me of my good friend, Bub from Lancaster, Pa. setting in our motel room after a long and stressful day looking up at me as he puts his Budweiser down saying, "no wonder I drink".

Bub (Roger) is one of my "six" friends and is the one who got me to start using the term Pub.
I cannot think of a better man I have ever known. He is a Bud Man. Once while we were working in Castle Rock, Colorado, we went into a local Brew Pub. He asked what was on tap. When the waitress told him, he did not hear her say Budweiser, so he asked do you have Bud on tap? After she told him no, he asked if they had anything on tap like Bud. She said sure and went back to the bar to get our beers. I went to the washroom and when I returned the waitress was returning with our order. I looked at his beer and at it's color. I was pretty sure he would not like it. I waited for him to take one swallow and without a single word being spoken, I reached out and moved his pint glass closer to me as he went to the bar and ordered a Bud in a bottle. At least he tried.

That thought about people continuing to go to the bars during "tough" times has stuck with me and I guess has fostered a new blog .

On Tuesday (March 17) I pretty much did what I said I was going to do in an earlier blog. I stopped by around noon at O'Brien's and was asked as I came in if I was a member. Member of what? I inquired. It seems the proprietors of my local watering hole decided that a $ 5.00 charge for a yellow armband was the order of the day. I paid the tariff (since I had intentions of returning later in the day). I walked inside and "bellied up to the bar" "How are you doing today?" the bar tender questioned. "Did you say poor? Well I am sorry to hear that." he said. "No, dammit, I said "pour". I had two "pints" of Guinness and then I ordered some corned beef and cabbage. After all it WAS St. Patrick's day and, as I have previously advised, I AM of Irish decent. Now is a good time to dispel another "urban legend"lore or myth. Corned beef is not an Irish tradition. It is actually a Jewish inception. The Son's of David decided they could pickle a beef brisket and made it appear and taste like pork which was and is not Kosher. The Irish immigrants began to eat corned beef with cabbage and potatoes because: 1. They could not find Irish Bacon in the new country and 2. Corned Beef tasted somewhat like Irish Bacon and it was available and cheap. 3. Cabbage and Potatoes were abundant and inexpensive in the new country.

The Stout was good. The meat was not. In fact it was pretty much awful. My mother used to cook corned beef and cabbage when we would go on family camping trips. She cooked it over a Coleman Stove. Come on, all you really have to do it boil water. The only resemblance to corned beef was it's color. When you buy it, it already seasoned and "cooked". So I am still wondering what O'Briens (sorry Ryan) did to the meat to make it literally taste like pink shoe leather. The cabbage, on the other hand was very good. Instead of boiled potatoes I received a healthy serving of mashed potatoes. Like I said, the cabbage was good. The cost of the beers was $ 4.00 a piece and the meal was $ 10.00. I was there about one hour and I spent $ 23.00 plus I left a 3-4 dollar tip. My wife and I went back to the pub (after she got off of work). I purchased her an armband and we each had 3 pints. We stayed for about an hour and a half. We had to go upstairs and find two seats that were actually reserved for someone else. The place was pretty full. They had a couple of "home-schooled" kids playing bag pipes and drums. I probably left no less than $8.00 in tips plus I bought a cigar for about six bucks. So now my daily tab approached $70.00.
I have been wanting to purchase a set of speakers to attach to my new Sony VAIO (bad mama jama) Laptop computer. I have been jonesing for the Klisph ones. Bose are nice too but I want Klisph. Had we stayed at home on St. Paddy's Day, I would have had the money for the pair.(They go for about $ 109.00 but I have found them on the internet for around $ 60 plus about $10 in shipping). In my "day" I was quite a audiophile. I am not sure that that term even is used anymore. In 1980 I spent nearly $ 2,000.00 for a stereo system. My grandmother felt generous that year and gave my wife and I a little extra money. I purchased a Luxman tuner and a Luxman amplifier. The first Mrs. The Third felt I had wasted my money on such an unknown brand. Little did she know that Luxman was essentially the "gold standard of "high end" audio equipment. I purchased a Denon CD player (CDs were pretty new on the scene at the time). A Garrad Turntable with an Audio-Technica cartridge (It alone cost $ 200.00); a Teac reel to reel player.; a Teac cassette player; a Harmon Kardin graphic equalizer and finally two Infinity QaII speakers. It sounded really nice. All my friends loved it. The two small speakers I mentioned above when connected to my blogging machine will damn near sound as good as that "system" I once had, and a lot cheaper. I recall setting by the dance floor on Monday night at my favorite tittie Bar (Mom's) and lamenting that I had to pay $ .75 for a beer. Now I go to a pub in downtown Temple Texas (the armpit of Texas) and pay between 4 and 5 bucks for one beer. And no one gets. naked!

I used to think that beers like Pearl and Hamm's and Falstaff tasted bad because they were made using cheap ingredients. Actually, they were probably made with ingredients that actually cost more than what is now used in the "major" breweries' brews.

Our economy and has truly gone to shit. That right I said SHIT. I watched our President conducts a new conference. You know he is a good speaker, but I think he is just another talking head. A black one. I really hope I am wrong. Let me say right here and right now that I am a boomer. I grew up in an age where bigotry and racial inequality was very real and very wrong. I am the last person who can say no black person received a high school diploma from Fair Park High School before me. Alma Taylor was the next graduate behind me and she was black. She was the first. As we stepped off the stage I turned and gave her a high five. People began to boo. e thought is was funny. To this day I detest the phrase " the N word" Shit that is so stupid. If you want to really agitate me all you have to do is call me a racist. I am so embarrassed about my past and the people (both friends and family) who were, indeed, racist. Dr. King said he hope to live in a world that people are not judged by the color of their skin but the content of their character. Not to make light on Martin's statement but that could aply to beer as well.

Ok, I am sorry. There I went on another ramble. Back to the tirade.

I still recall the day in 1974 when I received my first check from the pipeline company. I think the total was about $ 700.00 (for two weeks pay) I remember cashing it and received all of it in fifty dollar bills. I was rich. That was nearly 35 years ago. Thirty Five years! I rarely make that much now and I have a lot more expenses than I did then. Back then I would take an imaginary look into the future and foresee so many things. My vision of the future is becoming more and more depressing.

My current job is one I have to admit I like. I travel and although I never really look forward to the actual traveling, I do tend to enjoy it. I do get to sample beers from other parts of the country. Then again it is depressing when I get back home and I drink up the last of the beers I brought home with me. I realize it may be awhile before I will drink another Smutty Nose or Long Trial or Red Trolley. The people I work with are pretty fun to be around. Lately most are not too happy with me. The problem has been the frequency of actual work. I have been off for over a month and I learned I am not assigned to go back on the road until the 31st of March. Then I will only "be out" a week" . The next one after that (in Florida) will be at least two weeks after the one I am about to leave for.That is not a good thing. The job does not pay that well. I make more than most or at least as much as most of my fellow employees. If I ever sat down and did the math I am sure I would find a Wal-Mart greeter a fry chef at McDonald's or even a ditch digger would actually pay more than what I would make in a month. Our company has nearly 50 employees and although I have been employed there since November, 2005 only 6 employees (Roger, Lowell, Chris, Eric, Jack and Mike) have been working there longer than me. A few would argue with me on that point. But they each have quit (seeking their fortune elsewhere) and returned (with hat in hand )to the job later. I would be willing to wager than half of them do not have valid driver's licenses and the combined total of DWI's/DUI's received by the current employees exceeds over 100. I heard that one of them has nearly 20 DUI's issued to him. I find that hard to believe. We have two persons who tend to be the over all supervisors on nearly every project we are assigned. I like each of them. They are both in their early thirties and I feel both of them are really good people. Each of them are knowledgeable about our job. they are both excellent representatives with our clients and they both have, for the most part, respect from all of the employees. The purpose is to state that although my current jobs allows me to travel and absorb things outside of my little dominion, the job is about as dysfunctional as you can possibly imagine. I guess I must say ( and please do not assume I am attempting to boast) most of my fellow employees are lacking intellectually. It is if when the bosses do the hiring they look for people who have criminal records, an abundance of DUI's, years of delinquent child support, or some form of character flaw. The more flawed you are the better the chances you will work for us.
My boss (my brother in law) is actually a fine person and I admire him a lot. He has been a blessing to my wife and I. I shall always be in his debt. But, I do not know any person either alive or dead that is more un-trusting than he is. He goes by the philosophy that one should be judged by perception rather than reality. I really must leave that circus and find another career path. Perhaps a Reality Television Star.

Going back to the comment about people still flock to the bars.... I think that is true. But with the advent of "craft beers" of which I do love, I am not so sure the same synapses will hold true. I can go to the local super market and purchase a twelve pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer (PBR) for less than $ 7.00 (tax included). I can purchase at that same store a six-pack of a craft beer for around $ 6.99-$9.99 plus tax. As I type this my wife just called me and informed me she purchased the last 2 six packs of Budweiser American Ale at the local 7 Eleven, for $2.99 a sixer. It seems they can't move the product and they were getting rid of it. If I go to the pub(in this case O'Brien's) I will spend at least $ 4.00 per "pint" ( equates out to 14 oz as compared to 12 oz) for a craft beer. Ok, forget beer and go to the hard stuff. A shot of well whiskey is still $ 3.00. The real pisser here is that craft beer (as a rule of thumb) actually cost less to produce. Now I admit my fav pub does have a certain ambiance. I could go to Peanuts or the Keg (both in my home town) and drink Bud Light , Miller Genuine Draft or Natty Light, for about $2.00-$ 2.50 a bottle or I can bring my own bottle of whiskey in and purchase a coke and class of ice for about a buck. Of course these bars have a certain ambiance too. Shit Hole ambiance.

So I feel something must "give" here. The current economic situation is abysmal. I see it getting better but not until it hits bottom. I am very concerned if I will be able to endure it. We still go to the pub but only drink during "happy hour". We eat out a lot less than before and our spending has all but stopped. I have applied for other jobs that are located here in my home town. there are not many of them around actually. And frankly, I have to admit if I am offered one I will accept it and "quit" my current job. The thought of it hurts actually. By me leaving and finding another job, I will in all likelihood, benefit financially.

But the pubs need to take another look at their pricing policy. For them to truly survive, I fervently believe they should work to make their experience possible considering such difficult economical times.


Buddy can you spare a dime?




The Third

Friday, March 27, 2009

Bee Double E Double R You In




It is certainly exciting times here at The Brew Chronicles. With all things, there is birth and demise. I always felt that the original nifty name I came up with for my musings was thoughtful, but yet, demur. I realize that sounds silly, but I always wanted to be referred to something demur. If you have been reading the last few chronicles, you will recall that I have been led to a path to the promise land. I am a soon to be Reality Television Star. Therefore I am taking the next logical step and renaming my postings. It now had a new look and "feel" to it. I feel it is more dignified and has certain ambiance to it. Yes, the address will still be the same and the blog still retains the same original concept. Yes, this still is a beer run (or sorts). But I now have that proverbial spring in my step. Now for all of the new readers to my "BLOG", first of all let me say welcome and secondly, a little history. I started "blogging" late last year (2008). I did so on a whim and with the inspiration of the smartest person I have ever met. I am proud he is actually part of the family and frankly his intelligence should probably come in real handy being wed to my oldest prodigy.

I do like and enjoy his blog. At first, I hoped to closely resemble it or at least follow its guideline. It did not take long for me to realize that it's creator, The Jim, is not of this world and was probably born on the former planet Uranus. (I mean that in a good way of course) Although I actually qualified to take a test to become a member of Mensa, I lack the reflectional fortitude required to be at par with his production. And.... I have seen the light (not a burning bush) and I realize that my contributions should and must follow their own natural course. Anyway.... I originally named my blog Bee Double E Double R You In. It was a play on the phrase beer run. I wanted to write about thingsbeer. I wanted to muse about my travels and my opinions about certain beers and ales. As I ventured into the underbelly of thingsbeer, I quickly surmised that I was indeed a rookie and I was light years behind a multitude of other scribes far more intelligent, creative, resourceful, and financially independent as I. I thought the name of my "blog" was a subliminal way of expressing the theme and topic of most of it's contents. I hoped (and still do) that somehow my musings would nevertheless be discovered by the entire world and a miracle would happen and I would find myself with a multitude of followers, and I would have ad space on my blog, and once a month I would receive this huge check that I would then dole out to my favorite charities, and then spend the rest on yours truly. I hoped that my wisdom would ultimately lead to world peace, perhaps even to end of global warming and world hunger. But.........I found myself veering off of my intended target on many occasions. Yet, I did it anyway. Frankly, I know in my heart of hearts that I shall veer in the future. If this disqualifies me from having my "blog" listed among other noted beer blogs, then sadly, it is the cross I must bear in order to have literary freedom.



The first Mrs. The Third and I purchased a 18' tall tree for $ 10.00 for Christmas of 1975. We lived in a studio apartment which allowed for us to place such a tall tree in it. We purchased it two or three days before the 25th. We put every light and ornament we could find on it and it still looked bare. My gift to her that year was a 10 speed bicycle. On New Year's Day 1976, Stanley Michael Wisnewski (later to become the Mrs. The Jim's Godfather) and I opened a half gallon bottle of Crown Royal at 11:00 AM. We proceed to drain the bottle (one shot at a time) during the course of the Cotton, Sugar, Rose and Orange Bowl (s) football games. After each shot we would exclaim "Smooooooooth". I stumbled from his apartment to mine that night and my bride informed me she was pregnant. The next day we sold the bike to Stan. From that moment, I became a parent. It has been my defining purpose of my life. I guess it will be till the day I die. Each of my children will recall me telling them that "I am here to teach you to be a good parent". I have given that task everything I had. If I have succeeded or not, it is yet to be determined, but I can leave this life in peace knowing that I put it all out there attempting it. The girls have moved on now. Yes, I am still Daddy (well the Prodigal Daughter calls me Pops sometimes) but I am not too sure they really listen to my advise or if they do, I do not think they put much merit in it. It would be pretty damn hypercritical of me to feel too bad about that. I did not listen to T.W. too much either. But looking back, I realize I should have. I keep hoping that I can convince them they should too. But you see....... I really did see a burning bush. I can write my blogs. and I can muse about things. and talk about my life, my past and history and things. I can tell stories of my youth. I can dream and have fun. I can create my own fantasy. What I'm most happy about is, that I can continue to be a parent. I can still dole out my wisdom and sage. And yes they can still ignore it too. But hopefully, one day a long time in the future, one of them can look at their own grand child and tell an interesting antidote about me, their dad and for a short moment a smile and tear will appear. That will be the proof of the pudding. Next month I will become a grand parent.

I just receive a text message from the Prodigal Daughter. She just found out that she has gotten the job in Dallas she has been trying to get. She will be able to return to Texas. I am bursting with excitement for her. I am sure she is excited and I know her older sister is too. I remember when she was a teenager and knew everything. We had a bad electrical storm and we had lost power. She had wanted to take a shower and the bathroom was completely dark. So she proceeded to prance into the living room and retrieve an old hurricane lamp that had once belonged to my grand parents. I told her not to take it. I said that it was over a hundred years old and that it could not be replaced. She got all huffy and said she knew what she was doing. Once again I attempted to argue with her, but I finally resolved that I was not going to win. You see when you are married and you have four other females living the house and no males, you pick your battles. So she lit the lantern and took it into the bathroom. A short while later I heard crashing of glass emitting from her bathroom, followed by her scream and her crying. I flew up and opened the door expecting to see her all cut up and such. She was crying. She had attempted to remove the fluted globe to blow it out. It was hot and it burned her hand and she let it drop and (of course) it shattered. She was not hurt. I exclaimed Are you ok? Are you ok? She hugged me and cried "You were right". All I cared about was that my child was un harmed. I was not upset about the lantern and up until this moment I did not really care that she admitted I was right. But it reminded me of the quote I used to make each of my girls recite to me.

"Repeat after me, Dad is always right"

Ok, enough of that.

As I was saying (for all of you newbies) It's a new day and welcome to The Brew Chronicles. Or should I say welcome to the Official Blog of the Television Reality Show The Brew Chronicles. So on with the show..........



It was the summer of 1974. I was laying in my bunk the second level of McDermott Lay Barge 22, Block 249 West Cameron Area, South Addition, Gulf of Mexico. We were over 100 miles from the nearest land and nearly twice as far from where our cars were parked. I was drinking a cold can of Budweiser as was my roommate Frank "Neck" Butler. One of my co workers Mac Knupp had smuggled 2 cases of Budweiser on board and he was selling them for either a dollar; a joint or a cantaloupe. He had brought a duffel bag with 48 -10 oz cans. Keep in mind that bringing or being in the possession of alcohol, on the barge was against company policy and would mean termination if caught. Neck's dad U.I. Butler was the superintendent of welders for the entire company. His first cousin E.J. Geautreaux was the barge captain of Lay Barge 22. W.P. Smitty Smith was the chief inspector(for our client company) on the barge. Smitty was one of my Dad's best friends and had known me since the day I was born. Neither Neck or I were too worried about the reciprocation of getting caught. Hell, we all brought a bottle or flask or two and a few baggies of herbs, but never beer. What Mac had done was truly remarkable. The problem was the disposal of the empty cans. Somehow Mac made it work.

There were three sorts of personnel on the barge. We had riggers, galley hands and welder's and helpers. The welders were the prima-donnas and if you were a helper to one of the welders, then you were on top of the food chain too. Neck was a Senior Welder and I was a Senior Helper. We worked in the very first welding stall (out of six). We were "bead hands". Everyone who worked in the bead stall got extra pay per hour too. We all strutted around with our reversible welder's caps and granny glasses. We were the best of the best.

Different crews of galley hands and riggers came and went on schedule. The welders and helpers stayed as long as they could or wanted. When a crew left to go home, we raided their rooms for porn mags and dirty books. Mostly we got copies of Playboy and Penthouse. Occasionally we would find a stray bottle of whiskey or some pot. Playboy had such cool articles. I remember reading a really good article about beer and brewers. This was 1974. It would be another 5 years before my favorite president, Jimmy Carter would ease laws regarding home brewing and 23 years Slick Willie would make laws more friendly for micro breweries. The article listed numerous brewers in the United States. Of course it mentioned AB and Miller. The article went on to say that most "brands" would cease to exist and that withing 10-15 years there would only be 3 or 4 brewers left in America. They reviewed several small or regional brewers while at the same time predicting that they would not last much longer. In summation they said the very best beer in America (according to Playboy magazine) was a beer made in a small town about half way between Houston and San Antonio Texas., The beer was called Shiner Premium. The article went on to say that one should really try drinking one of them while they still could. I cataloged the article in my mind. A few months later as I was driving home from Houston (where my parents had moved to) to Shreveport where in a few weeks I was going to marry the first Mrs. the Third, I happened upon a small liquor store with a large sign showing the Shiner logo. I remembered the article and I swerved the old Z 28 into it's gravel parking lot. Larry (Red Fred)(this the same Larry I was with in Estes Park, Co. on my 21st birthday) was riding with me and wanted to know why I was stopping. I told him to buy some beer. Shit Tom! You've got plenty in the cooler now! . But this is the best beer in the world, I told him. I bought two six packs and as I got back in the car I popped the top off of one of them as did Larry. I laughed as he rolled the window down and slowly poured the recently opened beer and splattering the side of my car as we sped on down the highway. And this was the best beer in America?

The prophetic article proved right. They were dead on. Well kinda sorta that is. Now they did not foresee Sierra Nevada; Samuel Adams; Dogfish Head; Widmer Brothers or New Belgium and Shiner is still in operation (happy birthday by the way). Recalling the article I realize that t what they said was most of the beers that we knew of the time would be gone. Think about it. Olympia is gone as is Hamm's Lone Star, Pearl. Rainer and Dixie. Rolling Rock is history as is Blatz, Ballentines, Old Mill and Stroh's. Ok, some of the names are still around but they are not really the same. Lone Star is still bottled as is Pearl, but at a different location and by a different brewer.(at least the National Beer of Texas is still brewed in Texas). The Little Brewery in Texas,is still around. Shiner stopped selling a beer called Premium a while back . The same beer is now called Shiner Blonde. They say they are 100 years old. Well sort of they are. But they are owned by a conglomerate. Budweiser claims it is the Great American Lager, but damn, they are owned by a Belgium Company. Coor's is now a Canadian company. The beer Leinenkugel has great marketing and it so cool that they actually send me a news letter. They are owned by Miller who is owned by the government of South Africa. Now let me state here I that have tried not to consume a lot of Miller product. Their beer is pretty good but I do not want my money going to support a government that supports, even vaguely, apartheid or human rights abuse. Widmer Brothers in Portland, Goose Island Brewery in Illinois and Margaritaville Brewing in Florida are all owned , in whole or in part by AB InBev. Have you noticed the abundance of Michelob beers available lately? I really like their Original Lager. It looks as if they are a microbrewery too. As I write this I asked my bride about the Blonde she drank a few days ago. I told her that it was actually a Shiner Premium. She said so? It still sucked.

So maybe that article was actually off course. The concept of Bud was to brew a good beer that most people liked and make it fresh and available everywhere. I have drank many Dixie's, Olympias and Shiner Premiums. Frankly I have never developed a taste for any of them. But trust me there are a lot of people who grew up drinking those beers and their idea of the taste of beer is based on that. Even if I am to be a big Television Star, who am I to judge? Yes with my new found fame, I am finding my humble side.


Welcome,




The Third

Thursday, March 26, 2009

An American Dream

Moses had the luxury of a burning bush. And others before me have had the good fortune of something tangible to point them in the direction of destiny.

I can only recall one instance in my life that an idea resounded as strongly. I have written about it in one of my previous blogs. As playful as I tend to get sometimes, I am beginning to think that the concept of my own reality show has a substantial amount of possibilities and merit.

The Brew Chronicles -A Reality Show of An American Dream

This blog is somewhat different than any of my previous ones. first of all it is shorter. Secondly there are no pictures or videos etc. It is intended to preface (or possibly warn you of) the next few blogs that I submit. I have been at home for nearly six weeks without working and I am finally scheduled to return next week.(Aurora, Colorado.) Yes, I do have a Sony blogging machine now, but I must leave it behind for the Mrs since it is currently the only gateway to yahoo games she has. So I will probably be emitting several blogs over the next few days. Most are ones I have started and have left for a while and others are consolidations of several.

The course of my tid bits has abstractedly been and will be centered on things beer. But I must admit I find this has been an outlet to place my multidimensional life into a singular dimensional prospective. It is not intended to be anything but hopefully everything.


Gulp,



The Third

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

From Sir Paul to Edyta



October, 1969, I was 18 years old. I was a freshman at Louisiana State University (in Baton Rouge). My roommate was a guy by the name of Steven Simmons. Steve was also from Shreveport and was a graduate of the local Catholic "boys" High School. I must have known the entire Senior Class of Jesuit, but for some reason I never met it's Class President, Steve ,till I met him at LSU. I know that everyone sort of looks like someone else. Steve could have passed for a twin of the bass player for the Beatles (Billy Shears?). It was uncanny. He was also left handed (as is Paul McCartney) and he was a true wizard on the guitar. I was receiving $ 25.00 per week from my parents for living expenses. I spent most of it on beer actually. But then again I guess that IS living expenses. I had recently returned from Kadairs Records and Tapes with a new album. It had been recorded between July and August of the same year. In our dorm room in the basement of Johnson Hall, Steve and I listened to side two of the last actual album the Beatles ever recorded. He listened to it one time and proceeded to teach me how to play all of it on the guitar. I learned more (musically) from him than anyone before or since. I know Abbey Road was not the last one released but it was indeed the last one actually recorded. "And in the end, the love you give is equal to the love you make".

Now I like good music.I love many different genres of music. My portable music player has tunes from Ray Davies to Ray Willie Hubbard. From Uriah Heap to Imogen Heap. From Abba to ZZ Top. Country to Hip Hop ( I like T Pain's I'm on a Boat) .The Chairman of the Board to The Boss. The Arc Angels to The Killers. I am a musician. I admit I am not anywhere close to being as good as I think I am or I wish I was. Since 1971 I have played in multiple bands and groups and I actually got paid to do so. I even have laid a few tracks down for a couple of CDs. I also admit that the music I like is my own prerogative and everyone else is entitled to the same choice as I. Modern day "hip hop" and 'Pop" music, as a rule of thumb, insults me. It offends me not because of the language, but the actual complete lack of real talent. But then again, some hip hop really impresses me. Ridin Dirty is a masterpiece. I do not care if some street thug sings and "raps" about his impoverished life or how he and his "kind" never gets a break. That asshole is probably making more money in one year than I will ever see in my entire lifetime. I admit you got a have the blues to sing or play the blues.I do admit that I like some "Country" music. "The Jim" says that I am "more tolerant of it than he. I am probably more than tolerant. There are very few tunes better than one found on an old juke box in a shit hole beer joint. " And that's when it all happened and her heart turned cold as ice. That's why they call her the fallen angel of Trucker's Paradise" Well first of all I refuse to call it "Country" . I prefer to refer to it as C & W or Country and Western. The talking heads of Nashville have attempted for years, to remove the word Western I will not fall into the Nashville trap. I will still call it Country and Western. Yee Haw!!!


A few blogs ago I mentioned my distaste for reality shows on television. Call me old fashion but give me a story about a fictional kingdom named after a mountain range in Israel, with a king named Silas, who has an English accent over three hotties living with and going ga ga over an 80 year plus curmudgeon. Several years ago, I was passing through Lafayette, Louisiana. At the time, my oldest daughter lived there. Now let me say ,that now, one of my "other" daughters lives there now. (see Tina I did mention you) Anyway, when I was visiting J.R., I offered to take her out to eat at a really nice place.(Prejean's) After we finally were seated I was informed that we really needed to hurry in order to get back to her place to watch American Idol. A damn reality show. Although we did not get home in time to see the entire show, we did get back in time to see another poor soul being cast off by the American public leaving some fellow named Bo and a cute singer name Carrie to fight it out in the next week's finals. As you know I do enjoy a good rasslin match and I could see one brewing between the two finalist. The following Spring, on a lark, the Mrs The Third and I began watching American Idol. We did not miss a single episode. That year's winner was the one I picked from the very beginning. (Soul Patrol). Most of my "rocker" friends were pissed that Chris Daughtry did not win. Well...... think about it. Didn't he? As much as I dislike reality shows, I try to never miss the weekly installments of the show. I admit I think I am finally getting pretty tired of it. Of the remaining "top ten" singers, there are really only two I think have a realistic chance to win. Of those two, one is some West Coast Gay Boy who essentially has only one style. even when required to sing tunes from different genres, He arranges them to his style. If anyone else tried that stunt they would be sent packing for not being able to adapt. But this guy is praised for his actions. If I were to bet, I think he will actually win. The most talented singer is a Worship and Praise singer. His wife died a short while before he tried out for the show. Of course this is sad and makes a good storyline. The fact is, he is actually very talented and deserves to win. Randy Jackson is from Baton Rouge and because he is a cousin (pronounced cuu zan) I tend to tolerate him. The fact he played bass in Journey does not impress me. Journey songs are slightly better to my ears than a five year old going into a tantrum at a super market . I know you are probably saying Dawg, Journey is awesome. Come on, dawg is about as hip as saying " 10-4 good buddy or Dy no Mite! Paula is just plain strange. She is not an impartial judge. It is like she needs to get her hormones in check. Kara, what ever her last name is is "just there". She is cute but I am not really sure that her making Pink a big star qualifies her to impress me. I am not sure Pink is a big star. By the way I do not have any Pink or Journey tunes on my personal audio device. Simon comes off as the arrogant English Bastard. Think about it. The four of them and the lackey Ryan, are classic examples of kayfabe. Since that first year I began watching and seeing Taylor Hicks start his path of vilification from American Idol, I have endured a steady stream of talentless hacks. You know the more I think about it, I think that the entire show is a sham.

So I think I have clearly expressed my disdain for reality tv shows. I am sure the show with little people is appealing to many. The Roloffs seem to be a good family. My wife sure likes them. Check their web page. They actually sell containers of dirt from their farm. Yes for a mere eight bucks you too can own some of their farm. But then there is shows about entitled trophy wives or the family married to an Olympic hero. How about shows revealing families with a lot of kids or about wife swapping or nanny swapping etc. How about the one that fixes houses up or the one that fixes at least one room. But wait. What about the shows about cops or bounty hunters or the seemingly endless amount of courtroom shows? Then there ones showing people racing across the planet or living in a house with several other people or living in some distant wilderness. How about the one about fat people trying to loose more weight than other fat people? Then there is a show showing yesterday's news trying to ball room dance. I actually called in a voted on this one (one time) I voted for Master P. One of the contestants on the currents season of that show is a co founder of Apple Computers. Think about it, as rich as The Woz is he could buy Disney/ABC and have himself declared the winner. You can watch multiple reality shows about people attempting to be professional chefs or models. You can choose between several show about building motorcycles costing in excess of $ 100,000.00 reconditioning classic cars or tricking trucks. What about girls vying to be the number one groupie for a washed up rock star? Or men and women trying be chosen and sometimes dumped by the current bachelorette or bachelor. Then we have rehab shows and intervention shows and shows with celebrities or quasi celebrity attempting to avoid being fired, or former child stars looking for mates or having babies (at least two of those). There is the show about an exotic resort with a bunch of twenty somethings shacking up together for a week at a time. Yes we did have game shows and the Dating Game back in the day. Hell we had the ultimate reality show, Fishing shows. There were and still are a steady stream of them. The Mrs The Third thinks there are more boring than watching paint dry or two dogs humping. My favorite is and will always be the one hosted by Bill "By Gawd" Dance. The list is getting longer and longer each day. Bring back Car 54 or My Mother the Car. Bring back Have Gun Will Travel (my uncle Calvin's favorite) or Mannix.......

Holy Crap!!! I have an idea. Forget what I said about reality shows. Make me, The Third into a reality show. I bet the gig pays pretty good. I work cheap, just ask my in laws (my employers.)

Picture this. A real life television show showing me starting a brewery and brew pub from scratch. We could start from the very beginning. Season One would show me visiting several brew pubs and breweries. It would show me interacting with brewers and owners etc. It would follow me as I attended various beer competitions. The show would center on me and the way and course I take to build my dream. Of course I would express my opinions of some of the beers that I try. As the seasons pass, different phases will be revealed. Perhaps I can sell left over wort or something, Just as OCC builds theme bikes, the show could detail how a new beer is derived. We could have "theme beers". Hell we could have OCC Beer. Perhaps have the Tuttles visit the brewery or I could visit their shop and they can build a theme bike for me. Paul Sr, Paul Jr. & Mikey all look like beer drinkers to me.The possibilities are endless. I could interview the big names in the industry. I could chronicle the financing and building and marketing of the facilities. Ok, I would hire some little people and hob nob with some semi famous celebrities such as the Lovable Larry Ryan.(Former DeeJay KEEL AM, Shreveport, Louisiana), Master P or Hugh Hefner and his twin girlfriends. You know, the more I type here, the more I am actually getting excited. This really is not a bad idea and why not me? Just imagine me, The Third, a reality television star setting across the board room table with The Donald or dancing the Paso Doble with Edyta Sliwinska.

I am submitting a list of beer blogs you can visit. They are listed at the end of this blog.I am very much in awe of all of them. I would be so honored just to have mine listed among theirs. But if I get the reality show gig I will blow past all of them at light speed.

I have an idea for the name of my new reality show.

The Brew Chronicles
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Being that today is Haiku Wednesday I offer a few....


Hops, malt, yeast, water.
Combine them and you get beer.
And proof God exists.

or

See my beer blog at

Bee double e double r

You in blogspot com



As I have mentioned from time to time, I actually have four daughters. There is no way that I can describe here how much love I have for each of them. As I look back at my life each of them are the greatest joys of my life. At times, I disagree with each of them but my respect and love for each of them never waivers.... In an abstract way, this blog is a way I can still connect to them. However, it has been pointed out by a substantial portion of my readership, that I tend to mention or refer to my oldest daughter significantly more in my blogs than the other three.

I must admit that this observation is indeed correct. I am sorry. So to Kristina, Kimberly and Sarah. here is your big moment. You are now mentioned in my blog of which I expect to be "huge". And to you Kristina. I have now mentioned you twice in this blog so man up and stop being such a girl! Your dad is a big time blogger and a soon to be Reality Television Star. He does not need any additional stress or controversy.


I love you Kristina (that's three times)


The Third


The Beer Blogs I mentioned are here below