Brewing on the Party Patio

“Buy a man a beer and he’ll waste an hour, teach him to brew and he’ll waste a lifetime"- Bob Stoddard


I realize in my last blog that while I asked for contributions I failed to mention how much I would actually need. This short blurb is in reply to inquires regarding same.

So I have been asked exactly do I need to commence my brewing journey.

I do not want to be too complicated but I want to be complete.

There are several online sites where one can order what ever he needs to become a home brewer. One of the more popular ones is Austin Homebrew Supply of which I have actually visited and have one of their tee shirts http://www.austinhomebrew.com/index.php

There are multiple “kits” / mixes that include all of the ingredients needed to make around 5 gallons of beer. (2 cases of 12oz bottles)
Essentially the kits (for IPAs ,Pale Ales, Porters and Hefeweizens) are the same a cake or cookie mix. Most include bottle caps for 50 bottles. These kits usually cost about $ 30-35. As I would learn the essentials of brewing I could venture out and begin to brew from scratch and eventually develop my own beers and ales.

As far as bottles are concerned, they can be recycled bottles that I have collected.

One thing that would be nice is a 45 Bottle Drainer Tree for $ 27.99 and Vinator Bottle Rinser for $ 18.99. Sanitation is essential in brewing and bottling good beer, The tee and rinser makes the process of bottle sanitation easier and much more efficient.

There are several “starter kits” ranging from just under one hundred bucks and going up to about four hundred dollars

They include just about every thing needed. The one I feel would best suit me would be the one called Super Deluxe Beer Making Equipment Kit it sells for $ 196.49 but I would need an additional component called a secondary fermenter. By having this, the end result (beer) will be much clearer. It would cost $ 25.98.

The first thing or first process of brewing beer is boiling water. Therefore I would need pot at least a 32 quart size. These can be purchased just about anywhere. The one I found at Austin Home Brew goes for $ 54.99.
Of course in order to boil water I must have a heat source and although the kitchen stove would work, I am afraid the Mrs. The Third may have a few issues with me invading her sanctuary. I would have much more room on the “party porch” and I could use a propane burner. Austin Home Brew sell one called Bayou Classic Outdoor Propane Burner available for $ 69.99
A pot and burner can be obtained nearly everywhere, including Academy and Wal-Mart
The burner and pot could be used for other purposes as well, including boiling crustaceans.

So the total cost to get me going….. $ 393.43 plus tax


I might suggest that my loyal readers consider banding together to make an investment in my brewing future.


Hoppily Yours

The Third,
Future Home Brewer and future Reality Television Star

6th Street Brewery

Last Friday night the Mrs. The Third had to work from 3:00 PM till 9:00PM. We usually travel up to the local pub and tip a few. I decided I would go alone. I then received a phone call from the Rock Star Mentality that I needed to pick her up at 6:00 PM. It was beginning to look as if my weekly trek to the pub would not happen. But I decided to ask my youngest if she would mind going by O'Brien's. She said it was cool with her so on we went. While there I visited with my friend Byran from Belfast Northern Ireland. He seemed enamored with my daughter. The owner of the pub called me to the bar and introduced me to a young couple. They were interested in forming a local home brewing club* and considered meeting at O'Brien's. We chatted for a while. They were interested in my travels and the beers I have sampled. I told them I had moved into an old house down the street and that I was considering finally starting to home brew. They then invited me to come over to visit them the following Sunday because they were bottling a pumpkin ale. Matt showed me a picture on his cell phone of his harvest this year of hops. Wow I was getting excited.

As things turned out, they were not able to bottle their beer and I have yet to visit them. But it got me to realizing that I really need to focus on thingsbeer again.


One of my son in laws sat out on my back porch. In his deep voice he exclaimed. "Wow! This is a party porch" I must admit the Mrs. The Third and I spend a considerable amount of time setting on our "party porch" If you look close you can see my BBQ pit on the right. The door on the left leads in the kitchen and the window in the middle are from our dining and family room. We can gaze out our window and see the same things we do as we set on the aforementioned porch. As you look at the picture, note the step down on the left side of the picture. It leads to a concrete walkway. It traverses through the yard and leads to a wooden shed. ( where I store my lawn stuff etc.). If you look closely to the left you will see the side of the rose garden
Behind the rose garden is where I plan to plant a vegetable garden where I will plant tomatoes, squash, peppers and cucumbers. As Guy Clark said " There are only two things that money can't buy... true love and home grown tomatoes."

I was thinking. If homegrown tomatoes are so much better than store bought ones, I bet that fresh "homegrown" hops would be awesome as well. Besides Matt had inspired me. So I have decided to grow hops as well.

On the side of the wooden shed I plan to construct a hop trellis. It will be built as follows:
Two 6 foot sections of 2" PVC pipe will be buried 18" into the ground 4 feet apart. These two will be centered and adjacent to the wooden shed (pictured here). I will then place a 2" PVC "tee" on the top of each of the aforementioned 6 foot sections. I will then attached a 4 foot 2" PVC pipe to both of the tees thus attaching the two 6 foot pipes together. I will then attach two more 6 foot sections to each of the sides of the trellis and will attach a similar 4 foot 2" PVC pipe to the top. I will then attach two 16" section of 2" PVC pipe each facing the opposite direction of the 4 foot sections. The trellis will stand 10 1/2 feet high and will be 7 feet wide. (I have been told that hops will actually grow as much as 35 feet high if allowed) I will plant 5 hop rhizomes spaced evenly about 18" away from the base of the trellis. Next to each rhizome I will place a wooden stake in which I will tie a piece of twine leading the the top of the trellis. As the rhizome sprout and grow, vines (actually called bines) will be trained to climb each of the five pieces of twine.
I plan to construct the trellis over the next few months and will be planting my hops at about the same time I will plant the vegetable garden. (in the Spring). View of our vegetable garden should be obstructed by our rose garden but we will be about to see the hops as they grow. I understand that they emit a wonderful fragrance as well. Furthermore they attract butterflies too. That will be cool. The hops will grow through the Summer and should be harvested around mid September. At least that is what I expect.

Now I realize this blog is really strange but give me break....It has been nearly two months since my last one. I promise future blogs will be much better.

Yes, I do want to open a microbrewery but I have to admit that it has been fairly presumptuous on my part to think I could do such a thing without the home brewing experience. For that reason I am hereby announcing the formation of 6th Street Brewery. I will begin to look on the Internet and will be procuring items needed to brew beer. I anticipate spending around $ 300 to $ 400 for such items. You can purchase these from multiple places on the web or you can visit home brewing stores. There is one in Austin called Austin Homebrewing. I actually have one of their tee shirts and on the back it says "Make your own damn beer!"
If any of my loyal readers want to make an investment in the 6th Street Brewery I will gladly accept such. This can be done by purchasing equipment for me for Christmas or birthdays gifts. Money will be accepted as well.


So my brewing process has finally begun if only in the planning phase.


Whoooooo Hooooooo


The Third
Brew Master
6th Street Brewery
Charter Member of *Lone Star Brewers Guild

09:09/09/09/09

I spent the first 7 years of my life living in deep East Texas. When I was nearly 8, my mother, brother and I moved in with my mother's mother (in the country) and we lived there for 2 years. We lived in a small community known as Wallace, Louisiana. We lived on a dirt road about 3 miles from a small two lane black top. We really were in the country. We lived in an area known as Dolet Hills (pronounced Doe Lee Heels). We then moved to Shreveport, La. where we lived ( in 3 separate houses) until late Spring 1974 . In August of that year I was married to the first Mrs The Third (who now and in the future will be referred to as "plaintiff"). She and I moved to Houston, Texas in October 1974 and I lived there until June 1988. I then moved to Tomball, Texas ( a suburb of Houston) and lived there (except from 1990-1992 where I lived and worked in Bakersfield, California) until mid September 2005 when I moved to Temple, Texas. I have to admit here once and for all. I have never felt as if Temple was where I belonged. I have felt the people here are weird but I think that I have never given them a chance. It is the only place in Texas that I have ever been to (trust me I have been to a LOT of places in Texas) that does not have one single good Mexican Restaurant. MY GAWD!!!! Not even one. We still live here. Temple is not North Texas (such as Dallas) nor is it East Texas or West Texas or even South Texas. What it is, is Central Texas or sort of in the middle of the road. We have been here 4 years this month and I have finally accepted the fact that I am a resident of Temple, Texas and not just passing through. It is not completely as bad as I first thought. Hell,it is still in Texas and that is not too shabby.

When we first moved here we moved into an apartment. It was not too bad actually but due to the design of the complex our living room and bed room would flood nearly each time that it rained. Although it rains here infrequently, it still was a royal pain in the ass. I constantly complained and turned into a real prick a few times. But my ranting never stopped it from flooding. About a year ago, one of my brother in laws informed the Mrs The Third that he wanted to rent his house out. It seems his common law wife of about 12 years or so decided she wanted greener pastures and she left him. She promptly moved in with another guy whom she later married. A few days after their not so holy union, he was arrested as a result of driving while being intoxicated. WAIT .....I am am not talking about The Plaintiff for a change. It seems it was not the first time he had been convicted for such an offense. Come to think of it it was neither his second third or fourth time either. So he is currently residing in the care of The State of Texas Penal Housing Authority. No, I told you I am not talking about my first wife. My brother in law Markie Mark, was not too sure he could handle the note on the house, so renting it out was his plan. The idea sounded very good and both the Mrs The Third and I jumped at the idea. Later he modified his offer and informed us that he would remain in the house and that we could split the bills. My brother in law is a good man and I personally never have had any problems with him. Yes, he tends to be manic at times and he talks less than Calvin Coolidge did. He lives by the same credo that most of his siblings do. "The world is on a need to know basis". Or, "If I wanted you to know I would have told you."You only learn of something if he decides to tell you or you ask it of him and he decides to answer. His significant other left him and that alone could make you be in a bad mood. Add the fact that he was broke and then had a small heart attack, and you could see how living in the same house with him can mess your buzz.We lived in a three bedroom house and spent a predominant amount of our time sequestered in a 14' X 12' master bedroom.We have split the monthly bills, (electric, water, sewer, garbage,rent,) He has paid to have the lawn fertilized and mowed etc. I have mowed the grass a couple of times only. We have paid 100% of the cable and internet bill. This amounts to around $ 150.00 per month. I am sure he would have been happy to split that bill but we never asked him to. We also purchased 98% of all of the groceries consumed. But...I am in no way complaining about the financial arrangement. This past year has been good for both of us. Yes, we each had to sacrifice but it has worked. Recently, he has met a woman who has a lot of common interest as he does. For a man who does not talk that much, I can testify that he spent countless hours talking to her on the phone and recently he invited her to move into our abode. I mean .... it is his house. She seems nice enough and her two lap dogs are cute enough as well. The Mrs. The Third and I both felt it was time for us to move into our own place again. Let me say and I want to be clear about what I am about to say. I was ready to move to our own place about 30 minutes before I moved into my brother in laws house a year ago. I knew I would be completely miserable from the moment I moved in. Nothing against Markie Mark, I just want my own place. and......we finally found a place. It is not only ours but it is cool as hell. It is located very near to the historical district of Temple. I admit it is small but it has an amazing back yard with a huge covered patio. It even has a rose garden in a large back yard which surround by trees and a bamboo break. ( the bamboo provides privacy but bamboo can be a real pain in the ass. More on that later in this blog) It has a small wooden storage shed in the back of the yard and a concrete walkway leading to it. The front yard has a huge magnolia tree. The leaves will be a nuisance, but when it blooms it will be worthwhile. We can now get a dog. I want a dog and name him Uncle Bud. It has a one car garage with a garage door opener and now finally I have room to actually brew my own beer. (I predict I will name my first offering Estelle. ( I have decided to name my beers after people. Estelle was my mother's oldest sister.) There is a cat who hangs out on the back porch already. I learned from my next door neighbor, Wayne that the cat belonged to the person who used to live in this house. I am not a cat kinda guy. But I could never allow an animal to starve. The Mrs. The Third is allergic to cats and she wants the feline to simply go away. I put out a watering dish and purchased some dry cat food. The cat has eaten all I have put out thus far. I was going to name her Latifah but what's the use. Cats are strange and I find that I am too old to try to learn how to get along with them. I will simply refer the cat "the cat" and will continue to feed her until she leaves or dies.

I am making a real effort to accept that I am a real Central Texan. Now that I have a home of my own. Now that I am a responsible grandparent. Now I am ready to cast my vote and will actively campaign for someone for the governor of the great state of Texas. Who...why Kinky of course. "Why the Hell not!" Now you may think I am falling in the same trap that the people of Minnesota did when they elected a professional wrestler/B movie actor. My personal political philosophy is slightly inconsistent I guess. I first registered as a Democrat (back in 1970). The first presidential election found me casting my vote for George McGovern who lost by a huge landslide. I placed a placard for McGovern in our front yard. When my dear beloved Dad came home he went ballistic. He wanted to know if I was on dope. In Louisiana, I tended to vote Democratic since that was pretty much the only choice you had. Yes, Charlton Lyons ran for governor of the State of Louisiana as a Republican. He lost. I was not old enough to vote for him at the time but my vote would not have helped him. My cousin Mike (the one who went to Woodstock with me) ended up marrying Charlton's granddaughter. (Mirian) I have found that I have prospered better (personally and financially) when a Democratic was president. I find that people who serve us in elected office should first and foremost be "of the people". Andrew Jackson was probably the last US President to be "of the people. After his inauguration he opened the doors of the White House and invite everyone to "party". Of course what happened was that the place was "trashed".

We, as a people, tend to fall into the trap of believing that certain families or people are destined to be our leaders. Family names such as Long, Kennedy and Bush come to mind. But I must admit I am at a point that I have seen that the way that things have been have not been that perfect. I could and would never run for political office. I admit I feel I would not be as bad as you may think. Yes, we can laugh at the people of Louisiana who elected not once but twice a country singer by the name of Jimmie Davis. We can joke about Minnesota electing a former Pro Wrestler and comic by who invented the character of Stuart Smally. Hell we could laugh at California for electing a B movie Western Cowboy or the Govenator too. What about The State of Iowa electing a former Love Boat Star as one of it's representatives in congress.. The State of Tennessee for electing a former star of Law and Order. What about a former Texas Governor W Lee "Pappy Lee" O' Daniel. Those people did pretty good and to be honest I feel it would be refreshing

We have been in the house for about a week and I have already spent more time outside either just setting or working than I have in the three years in our apartment and the year at Markie Mark's. I spent the best part of this past weekend cutting down bamboo. My backyard looks like a war zone. But I discovered that the back yard had more space than I even thought. the bamboo was over ten feet thick from the back fence and had completely covered up several really cool trees. One is a hundred year old or more live oak. I am only about half of the way done. It will take two or more long trailer loads (to the dump) to dispose of the cut cane. The roses in the back yard are dried up and look pretty unruly, but with a little tending the rose garden will look wonderful. I will be placing a concrete statue of Mary in the middle of the garden. the back patio has already become a place for the Mrs The Third and I to set and talk each evening. It is quite pleasant. I feel after I have removed the excess bamboo and have trimmed the roses and watered the yard back to some shade of green rather than dirt colored, added a few bird & squirrel feeders and few more wind chimes, we will have a very nice little "private garden".

So....... fans, things are looking up here. I find I will be a lot more at peace and will be able to devote more time to the actual Brew Chronicles. I can now set on my back porch/patio and work on my future blogs and write to whom ever I need to get my shot at reality television stardom.
Until then I will begin to look diligently for a real job a little closer to home. the Power Load is pretty much petered out. But I am planning to work in Paso Robles, California near the end of this month. It is the home of Firestone Walker Brewery. They make great beer such as DBA or Double Barrel Ale. It rates high on my list.

Back to the cutting.....

The Third

"Hope I Die Before I Get Old"

I know I wrote about my experiences from Woodstock earlier. This morning I watched Goodmorning America and Ritcie Havens singing "Freedom" as he sat on a stool in a field near where the original stage of the Woodstock Music Festival was located. Most people that I know are not too in tuned with the Woodstock Generation so I shall keep my thoughts short.

I hope I can live another ten years to celibrate the 50th anniversary.

Peace

The Third

Tap Handles

I realize that my posting has been rather sporadic lately. I certainly have had ample time to so so. I have been somewhat disgusted with myself that my blog has turned into a journal of "useless information" (thanks Mick). I have worked a few "night jobs" the last few weeks and it has been hot as hell and my old BBQ competition team once again won in the Annual Hempstead Watermelon BBQ Cooking Contest. The Mrs The Third and I had the chance to visit some of our old friends last week and I must admit the experience was bittersweet.


This started as a beer blog and dammit I need to veer back on course. I need to stop detailing the circus life of my (what is turning out to be) part time job with the Power Load. Additionally stories about my feelings and favorite sports teams are pretty sappy I suppose. I need to focus on the quest for the golden liquid staff of life.


I have two son in laws. Both of them are special to me (in their own way). My first one (the one who joined the family first) is my granddaughter's (Little Cat) daddy. He actually is a good man but he is not as intellectually developed as I am sure one day he will be. I admire his child like qualities yet he is a good and loving husband to his wife (my daughter who still has no official TBC nickname). The past few months has required that he grow up a lot and he is do quite well at it.


My second son in law, The Jim is (as I have cited in previous blogs) far and away the smartest person I have ever met. He is actually the person who inspired me to begin TBC. He too is a good and loving husband to his wife, The Prodigy.


Upon returning from vi sting with our friends last Saturday we returned home to find a package addressed to me. Inside was a tee shirt. At first The Mrs. The Third began to berate me for purchasing yet another tee shirt. I literally have over a hundred now. What I found was a custom made shirt that said on the front "The Brew Chronicles - Quenching Your Thirst For Knowledge" Also on the front of the shirt are numerous pictures of beer logos that have found their way on my blogs and centered among them is my family crest. On the back of the shirt is the address to this blog and a Celtic cross with what looks like a beer mug inside of it.

The shirt really is an inspired work of art and I am very impressed with it. It was my father's day gift from The Prodigy and The Jim and it was the idea and brainchild project of The Jim. It has been a long time since I have received a gift that has been as special as this has been. Now if I can get my "crappy art" I will be a happy man. I plan on wearing it this evening as The Mrs The Third and I step into O'Brien's for a weekly three "happy hour" pints.


Speaking of O'Brien's, I must admit that little place is becoming a pretty good "beer bar". Their selection is continuing to improve. They still have not truly bit the bullet and tapped a real I.P.A., but they are certainly on the right tract. They will be soon pouring # 9 from Magic Hat. They will be one of only a few select places in Texas that will be doing so. a few months ago I brought back a couple of bottles for them to sample and now within a few days they will have the beer on tap. Actually I have recommended several other beers for them to tap. They have followed my suggestions several times and each has been very successful for them.

I began thinking the other day what other beers I would love to see on tap at my favorite pub.

Here is my list. I will actually make a copy of it and give it to Ryan (one of the owners of the pub)
I submit this list with only two criteria.

a. There is or possibly is, a cult following of the beer

b. The beer is actually good



1. Yuengling Lager

2. any beer from Bell Brewery

3. any beer from Schlafly Brewery

4. Moose Drool Brown Ale

5. Red Trolley ale

6. any beer from Abita Brewing

7. Firestone Walker Double Barrel Ale (awesome beer)

8. any beer from Alaskan Brewery

9. any beer from New Glarus Brewery (Spotted Cow or Flying Squirrel)

10. Smuttynose Brown Dog Ale

11. any beer from Flying Dog Brewery

12. any beer from Odell Brewery (Their 90 Shilling and IPA are both awesome)

13. any beer from Flying Fish Brewery

14. Goose Island 312 (what I consider one of the best wheat beers I have ever had)

15. Goose Island Honker Ale

16, Widmer Brother's Drifter Ale

17. any beer from Allagash Brewing (preferably their whit beer)

18. any beer from Hair of the Dog Brewery (Fred or Blue Dot would be my favs)

19. any beer from Uncle Billy's Brewery (I like Hell in Keller)

20. Pearl (Triple X's for Texas)

I will be leaving Sunday to drive up to Minnesota for about a week. I am looking forward to some Scape Goat and Moose Droll as well as other cool beers I have not had in a while.

I will be taking my blogging machine with me and I will attempt to write a few lines or two.

....don't you know,

The Third

Gris Gris

The last time I was in the Big Easy was several years ago. It was pre Katrina. I was working here with a friend of mine and (at the time my boss). His company was a MBE. I had been working pretty hard to impress him as to how well I did on the job and I think he really was buying it. He was so impressed that he agreed to buy me dinner at any restaurant in New Orleans that I chose.. Trust me, they have a few here.( Oh yea I am back again. I brought my blogging machine with me) . I did him right and we ate at The Napoleon House. For those of you who are unfamiliar with New Awlins food, The Napoleon House and Central Grocery both claim to have invented the Mufelleta sandwich. I tend to think the claim rightfully belongs to the later but in my opinion the best Mufelleta is served at The Napoleon House. It is located on Chartes Street in the Heart of the "Quarter". The last time I was here the Essence Festival was in high swing and once again the 15th Annual Essence Festival was this weekend. A co worker (from West"By Gawd" Virginia) and I visited the "Quarter" this past Wednesday night. It was so hot it was nearly impossible to breathe. The sandwich was every bit as good as I imagined it to be. Aman was truly impressed. I also had a bowl of gumbo which was very tasty and a "Dixie" "Jazz" beer to wash it all down. I must admit it was a little strange drinking a beer enriched in New Orleans folk lore yet now brewed in Wisconsin. (Although I read they may one day brew in New Orleans). After our meal I took Aman on a stroll down Bourbon Street then to Jackson Square where some pimp was threatening to beat up his whore. We passed the one room flat my cousin Donnie had on Pirate Alley across from the side of St. Louis Cathedral . I took him to Cafe DuMonde where he informed me he did not like coffee thus ending up at my favorite watering holes in New Orleans,, Tujacques. We were back on the Westbank before 10 PM. The three hour tour sated my Big Easy fix for at least a few more years. My co worker was pretty impressed. I even ordered a dozen on the half shelf and he quaffed one down to prove he was not a pussy. I still ate the remaining 12.


I grew up in Louisisana but far away from New Orleans. When I was 8 , the same year I had the mumps, my father took us all to the Crescent City for the first time. I remember strolling on Decatur and smelling the fish at the fish market and the coffee and beinets. We toured the Cabildo and St. Louies.


I have returned many times since. I have walked, stumbled and crawled all over the Quarter. I have ridden the Ferris wheel and swam in the Pontchartrain. I have ridden the street cars and slept in a house in the Garden District. I have drank Irish whiskey in Irish Town and eaten some of the best German food in America at Kolbs. I stood in line for two hours to eat at K Paul's. I have had Sunday Brunch at Commander's Palace. I have spent time along Carrolton and I consider Rocky and Carlos' the best place on this planet to eat a oyster poboy and the Ferdie at Mother's is beyond belief.



When I witnessed the flooding from Katrina a few years back I honestly could not hold back the tears. I have never had any desire to live in New Orleans. If your were to give me the finest house in the Garden District I would visit only. But like it or not the Parish seat of Orleans (pronounce Or leens) is embedded in everyone who ever lived in the Sportsman's' Paradise.

New Orleans and the surrounding area is famous for several people. Uncle Carlos, (Carlos Marcello)* come to mind as well as the only man in America to be actually excummunitcated from The Catholic Church ( the Pope) because of his racist views, Judge Leandor Perez

Both men are still revered in the area. I must admit that Uncle Carlos was my cousin Jeff (Liam's) actual Godfather.

The word corruption originated in New Orleans. Mayors are infamous for their nefarious willing and dealing. I recall good old Moon Landreu and his successors Dutch and Marc Morial, Sidney Barthelemy and Ray Nagin. They have perfected the fine art of entitlement. What I am about to write is true and is free of hyperbole. .....

The Parish of Orleans, Louisiana and the City of New Orleans has received a significant more federal aid and Federal Government subsidy than any other parish/county and city in America, prior and after August 29, 2005. Thats right before and...after. A significant amount of New Orleans residents who are male are of a third generation of men who have not held a full time job at any point in their life. They, like their fathers and grand fathers have woke each morning and shuffled down St. Claude to the nearest corner store and purchased a Forty and a pack of Kools. They are the biological parent of numerous children and receive a portion of each child's mother's government subsidy check. they have lived in deplorable conditions and continue to inseminate future welfare recipients. Before the levee broke and flooded the lower Ninty Ward. The entire area was a true shit hole. When the levee broke it was just a wet shit hole.

The Army Corps of Engineers has subsidized New Orleans and the surrounding area for decades. The Feds realized that the levees truly needed to be reinforced. those guy (engineers) knew that any form of adjustment in the current weather patterns would cause a cataclysmic change in the water flow in the Mississippi River as well as the second largest saltwater estuary in America. Millions and millions of dollars were doled out to a litany of governmental agencies.

But the Nola power elite had a plan. It is the sort of plan that only someone from Louisiana could appreciate. "Lets tell the Feds we are spending money on levee repair. Let give them horseshit receipts and get all of the money. We could use the money to divert river sand from the Big Muddy and deposit into Lakes Maurepas and Pontchartrain. We could in effect create new land. Upon it we shall build a gambling mecca on the level of Las Vegas. We can then tax the living shit out of the tourists and use the money to build a first rate levee system. So in the long run, the money received from the Feds for levee enhancement will ultimately result in actually levee enhancement. ...But then a not so gentle lady named Katrina came to call and the idea washed out with the floods.

So they were caught right? Well not really. It seems that they are now saying the Feds simply did not give enough money and besides George W. failed to have buses lined up to deliver the wards of the state to higher ground.

I could go on but what's the use?

Laissez les bon temps roulez

Le Tiers

Post Script

* Carlos Marcello was a mafia "Don". He was the "Godfather of Louisiana". Most people in Louisiana knew of him. ( Even way up in Shreveport). There are many people who believe that he is responsible for the assasination of John F. Kennedy. One day I received a call from my cousin Jeff to eat lunch with him and my uncle Alpin. I met them at a resturant called Sansone's. on King's highway. When I walked in I saw Jeff and Uncle Al setting at a table with an older man. I walked up and my uncle introduced me to Mr. Marcello, Jeff's Godfather. Many year's later I served as a pall bearer at my cousin's funeral. As I was escorting Liam's casket from the altar I looked up into the crowd of mourner's. My eyes were filled with tears and I looked and I saw that man I met at Sansone's so many years earlier. He was crying harder than I was.

3rd

Texas Tiger

In December 1950 my father's new wife of one month, was having what she thought was home-sick pains in the frozen plains of Woodstock, Illinois. He was working for Ford Bacon & Davis, an engineering company. He had recently graduated with a degree in Forestry from Stephen F. Austin University. The cold and snow was more than Mother could bear. She began to have stomach cramps and my father rushed her to the hospital. The doctor informed her that he thought she may be pregnant and was having a miscarriage. He proposed to perform a "DNC" if she was with child. He needed to determine if she was indeed pregnant or not. The test revealed that she was not and for some reason he decided to wait a few days to see if she would improve before he performed the procedure. She went home that night. I was born in late August the following year. The test result was incorrect. Yes I was actually conceived in Woodstock, and yes I was nearly aborted.

My father quit his job with FB&D a few days after Christmas and they moved to Waskom, Texas where he took a job that he would have for over thirty years. While living in East Texas my mother began having labor pains on a hot (it was 109 degrees) August afternoon. When my father arrived home from work he rushed her to a small clinic located nearby. The doctor informed my parents that the baby was in distress and would need to be delivered by "cesarean". He stated it had to be done right then and that they could not wait to drive to nearby Shreveport, Louisiana. I was born around 8:00 PM in a small clinic located on the Northwest Corner of US Highway 80 and North State Line Road, Harrison County, Texas. (The building today houses a BBQ joint) Shortly thereafter my mother and I were transported via ambulance to the Highland Sanitarium in Shreveport, Louisiana. A birth certificate was issued in the county seat of Harrison County, Texas (Marshall) and a birth certificate was issued in the parish seat of Caddo Parish, Louisiana, (Shreveport). I can legally claim that I am a native born Texan as well as a native born Louisiana. Yes, I am a Jack Ass and a Coon Ass.

I have always been proud to be a native born Texan. I am equally proud of my Louisiana roots. My paternal grandmother was actually cajun (Meloncon). I never heard her speak French until the last couple of years of her life. She, like my other grandmother, lived to the age of 98. She was living in a "rest home" and one of the nurses attending to her would converse with Bessie in Acadian French. To my amazement she sounded like a real coon ass ( of which I guess she was). She used to tell me that while she was young child living in a small community of Laccisine (Jefferson Davis Parish) she only spoke French. In fact she says she only learned English a few year before she married my grand father (Dit).

I embrace my cajun heritage (albiet distant). But I do not deny that I really am a Native Texican.

We moved to Louisiana in 1959. Growing up in Louisiana I quickly learned that the state was divided into two distinctive parts. I admit I-49 has bridged the two partially. But you are either from North or South. Growing up in Northwest Louisiana we were referred to as red necks or hillbillys. Some of us are called Y.C.A 's (Yankee coon asses).

Texas on the other hand is vast. Each area of the State has it's own uniqueness but all share in one common bond. There's North Texas, East Texas, South Texas, West Texas, The Valley, Central Texas, Gulf Coast and The Permian, The Golden Triangle, The Piney Woods, The Hill Country, & The Panhandle. We are all Texans.

My teen aged years were spent in Northern Louisiana. I participated in sports (baseball and football) in both Junior High and High School. I quickly became a die hard LSU fan. It all started when my cousin Donnie who was attending Louisiana State, got two tickets for my Dad and I to Tiger Stadium to witness a contest between the Number One team in the country (and defending National Champions) (LSU) play the number Three team in the country (Ole Miss). I was only eight years old and on Halloween of 1959, Dad and I boarded the "Tiger Special" and rode to Baton Rouge to watch the contest. We arrived around 3 PM and we visited the State Capital Building and the LSU campus. My cousin introduced me to Michael Mangum, a tight end for LSU who caught the winning touchdown pass in that year's National Championship game. Over twenty years later I would receive free tickets to LSU-Texas A&M games from that same Mickey Mangum. From that October day in 1959 I was hooked and addicted. I was, am and will always be a Tiger Fan.
Later in my life I too would attend Louisiana State University as a student. I actually attempted to try out for their football team but after three days of summer drills I quickly determined I would never make the team. Besides a month later I had plans to travel to upstate New York for a music festival. I also tried out for the baseball team in October of 1969 and to my surprise I did make the team. For the next two years I was a utility infielder playing mostly first and second base for the squad. My jersey number was 2. In my two years of playing baseball, I had a combined batting average of 276 and a total of one home run (hit against the University of Tennessee). I was a mediocre player playing for a poor team. I did accumulate enough playing team to qualify as a "letterman" (I never did actually receive my letter) I am eligible to be a member of the "L" Club (an organization of former lettermen athletes from LSU). I also played percussion in the Golden Band From Tigerland (Tigerband). In 1971 ABC Telivision and General Motors awarded us with the distinction as the number one college marching band in America. That award was only given one time. .

In 1974 I moved back to Texas and have lived here ever since. Like I said earlier I am a Native Born Texan. I am proud of that fact. But I am a Tiger Fan as well. I am a Texas Tiger.

I work with a couple of guys who live in West Virginia. They are each huge West Virginia fans. I admire their undying loyalty to their "school". They tend to be immensely proud of WVU and the Big East Conference. I have been an LSU fan since my dad took me on that train trip to Baton Rouge to see a future Heisman trophy winner romp 89 yards for a touchdown after all 11 opposing players had attempted to tackle him.

My Mountaineer compatriots like to trash my beloved Tigers. They tend to feel we are overrated and not up to the caliber of WVU athletics. I differ with them and I offer the following as my proof.

Since 2000 (the past nine years) the following has happened:

LSU won 2000 & 2009 National Championship in Men's Baseball
LSU won 2000 & 2003 National Championship in Women's Outdoor Track and Field
LSU won 2001 & 2004 National Championship in Men's Indoor Track and Field
LSU won 2002 & 2003 National Championship in Men's Outdoor Track and Field
LSU won 2002, 2003, & 2004 National Championship in Women's Indoor Track and Field
LSU won 2003 & 2007 National Championship in Football
LSU was in the NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four in 2006.
LSU was in the NCAA Women's Basketball Final Four in 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, & 2008.
LSU was in Men's Baseball CWS in 2000 (they won) 2003, 2004, 2008, & 2009 (they won)
LSU was in Womens' Softball CWS in 2001 & 2004

Thats a total of 13 National Championships.

WVU won 2009 National Championship in Men's Air Rifle.

Since first competing athletically Louisiana State University has won 44 NCAA National Championships.

This ranks them 1st in their conference (Southeastern) and 5th nationally. Alabama (the State which includes the University of Alabama and Auburn University) can only lay claim to a total of 18 National Championship. The University of Florida and the University of Georgia combined can not claim as many National titles as LSU. The Ohio State University only has 26 National Championships. If you add every single National Title from every school in the State of Texas (including Texas A&M's recent National Championship in Men's Golf, and both Women's Basketball titles from Texas Tech and Baylor) you still would not have more than what the Tigers has won.
In team sports, LSU has never lost a championship game for the National title.
No Division I team in the nation has actually won more National Championship games in football than LSU. Only one team (USC) in the nation has won more National Championships in Men's Baseball than LSU (6).

West Virgina University has won a total of 14 National Championships (not too shabby) all in the same sport (?). In fact they won this year too. The Men's Air Rifle Team defeated the University of Alaska at Anchorage at the National Championships held at TCU in Fort Worth Texas


The February 12, 2009 issue of The Daily Atheneaum (the official school newspaper of West Virginia University) is quoted as saying

WVU rifle team deserves respect

It’s the first time a West Virginia team has been ranked No. 1 since the football team earned the ranking on Nov. 25, 2007.
It’s still the only West Virginia team to ever win a NCAA National Championship.
In fact, the team has 13 of them. And it’s sad that only a handful of Mountaineer students actually know that the WVU rifle team is soaring above all competition this year.
The lack of support isn’t just with rifle this year. The theme of poor student support has been seen all year for West Virginia athletics. Even though a record number of student football tickets were requested this year, most of the students were gone before the fourth quarter even started. WVU men’s basketball head coach Bob Huggins has already had to plea to the students for more support at home games, while the number of fans women’s basketball head coach Mike Carey sees on any given night could be counted on his own two hands.
Gymnastics has seen decent support this year but mostly from local elementary and middle school kids. WVU students are hard to come by.

And then there’s the rifle team – the most successful team at the school. I would doubt that a single student has ever seen one of its matches.


On September 8, 2007 the Hokies of Virginia Tech University claiming to have the nation's number one rated defense, left Death Valley after being pummeled 48-7. At the end of the regular season they actually argued that they were more worthy of being in the national championship game than the Tigers ( who eventually thrashed The Ohio State University)

I am saving my nickels and dimes to attend the Tiger Feast of September 25, 2010. I plan on going to that bayou beat down.

Now I know this could all be considered "smack talk". But the facts are indeed the facts. But I admire my Mountaineer friends. They are not fair weather fans. They are proud of their team just as I am. They proudly where their Old Gold and Blue garb. They, just like us, win and they loose but they still are fans and that is really all that matters.

My friend Eric likes to say "It's a good day to be a Mountaineer". It's always a good day to be one. And it is a good day to be a Horn, an Ag, a Frog or even a Tiger.

As a native born Texan I have to be proud of the State's University (s). The only problem is which hand gesture do I use, Sic em Bears, Hook em Horns, Guns Up, or Gig em Ags? I prefer to do as LSU's baseball coach recommneds. Raise fist into the air and then simply extend index finger into the air and proudly admit we are indeed Number One!

At least at the Old War Skule our fight song does not mention another specific school and we certainly do not advocate physical harm to their teams' mascot. But I do like the Aggie War Hymn. Their "Gig em" phrase comes from a quote from a former A&M Board of Regents member, Pinky Downs, when asked what his team would do to intra state rivals Texas Christian University. Besides since my oldest (soon to be a TCU grad) is married to an Ag thus including me into the Aggie Family.

..... Good bye to texas university - So long to the orange and the white-Good luck to dear old Texas Aggies They are the boys who show the real old fight -'the eyes of Texas are upon you' That is the song they sing so well Sounds Like Hell - So good bye to texas university - We're gonna beat you all to Chigaroogarem Chigaroogarem - Rough, Tough, Real stuff, Texas A&M Saw varsity's horns off - Saw varsity's horns off - Saw varsity's horns off -Short! A! Varsity's horns are sawed off - Varsity's horns are sawed off Varsity's horns are sawed off Short! A!

In summation I leave you with my favorite LSU Tiger cheer

Hot boudin - Cold cush-cush - Come on Tigers - Push - Push - Push !

Air rifle? Hell that is about as much as sport as NASCAR.



Geaux Tigers !



The Third



Post Script:

For my Longhorn fans: How 'bout dem Tigers ?

3rd