As So It Ends (Part Five of a Series of Five)

"I'm the kid who ran away with the circus. Now I'm watering elephants. But I sometimes lie awake in the sawdust dreaming I'm in a suit of light..... I'm the kid who always looked out the window failing tests in geography. But I've seen things far beyond just the schoolyard, distant shores of exotic lands.There's the spires of the Turkish Empire. Six months since we made landfall, riding low with the spice of India, through Gibraltar, we're rich men all. Time was talking I guess I just wasn't listening. No surprise, if you know me well.... I'm the kid who has this habit of dreaming, sometimes gets me in trouble too. But the truth is I could no more stop dreaming than I could make them all come true" - The Kid by Buddy Mondlock

I realize that my writing style can be pretty arduous. I also am aware that others may not see the same things or the things the same as I do. I admit that some of my writing can seem tedious boring and possibly lacking of substance. But all that being said, I still persist. From my first posting, I have tried to write directly from my inner soul and put it out there the best I can do. Mrs Hightower, my senior year Advanced English Class teacher always thought I could be a writer. I suppose she may have been wrong. Although I continue to try to discover my true intent for this blog, I accept that I may never do so.

I do not intend this blog to take a "blue tone" but sadly I find it headed that way. As I truly step back and take a look at my nearly 60 years of life, I find that my dreams have carried me about a far as they could. I do not regret them but rather I am sorry that was all they were as the lyrics cited above. I suppose I have always been a kid. Sadly I never truly grew up. I suppose I probably never will. For those whose are affected by that fact, I sincerely offer my apology.

This posting is two fold. It is the fifth installment of a series of five (as the title states) and it is my 96th and in all likelihood probably final posting of "Beerrun/The Brew Chronicles. As much as I fantasize, I still would have thought I would have had more than four or five readers after nearly three years. It would have been nice to have posted at least an even one hundred posts and I suppose I could have waited to mid December and say I had a blog for over three years. But Somehow I feel it is time to end it now. I have come to accept the fact that most people I know do not have the inclination or the intellect to read anything longer than a fifty word maximum, face book blurb. Frankly I have become weary and uninspired. I can appreciate as to why no one wants to waste much time reading my rantings, long as they may be.

My ideas and dreams have been just that. I have not acted upon them while other people have. I simply, as the above lyrics cited, "looked out the window" and only dreamed. As I look back at my life, I finally conclude that I indeed had the tools and opportunities to act on my dreams, instead I tended to take the path of least resistance. Now I am not saying that my life is over. I am saying that I can clearly see that my life has limits. I am old and wise enough to envision my life actually coming to an end. I can see a clear timeline and although I foresee "many years" remaining in my life, they are increasingly are appearing to me as being numbered. My parents, extended family and friends have all given me ample opportunities in my life. I have not necessarily squandered them, I just did not take full and complete advantage of them. I have never had an abundance of money, a fact I truly regret. But I know deep in my heart that in the long run, wisdom is far more valuable than money

I find that nowadays most of the people I know tends to treat me as a pariah. What I know, what I have and or my wisdom is not what they are seeking. I am patronized or simply ignored. I am pretty much kept on a need to know basis. I know that may sound harsh but I believe it to be true. All of my children are "grown" and independent. Although they may speak the words, I
do not believe they seek future parenting or advise from me. That task of mine has passed. I am constantly impressed as to how "much" they know yet at the same time I am amused as how "little" they know. Although I feel I have failed in so many ways in my life, I do not regret what I done as a parent. If I had it all over to do again, I believe I would not have changed many things.
This blog in many ways has been my opus to them. It was actually intended to speak to them about me, my life and my dreams. The true secret of this blog is that Beer and thingsbeer have only been an analogy and or allegory. I have diligently tried to place my wry wit and wisdom between the lines. I guess I have missed my mark. I wish my mother and father had written blogs I could have read. Then again that is what I wished and not particularly what my children want.

I suppose I could opine forever but at some point I need to find an end. So with that I submit the final installment of a Series of Five.

These past five postings (including this one) have a single focus and to be honest they are a microcosm of all of my previous postings. They attempt to illuminate my dreams as if they were reality.

So with that said, lets look back

Part One: Identifies applicable laws that are in existence. I admit I express some sarcasm within it, I attempt to simply state how the "landscape" plays out.

Part Two: This is pretty much a re-hash of many of my earlier postings regarding places I have been and beers I have tried. The point I was attempting to make was that I had visited a lot of places and seen a lot of different places. Most of them are very successful. Each was unique in it's own way. Should I create a place of my own, I would have many examples to follow.

Part Three: This posting was meant to point out that there was and is still a viable market for both micro breweries and brewpubs

Part Four: This posting is amalgamation of many. It was to recant what I have written about for nearly three years. I fine tuned it and tried to "put legs" on my dream. I attempted to illustrate how the idea although similar to literally hundreds (or more) of ideas, is indeed separate in it's scope. I attempted to once again show and or visualize my dream.

I think it was during my writing of Part Four that I realized that my blog had reached its zenith. I found myself writing the same things I had written prior. I had a deja vu moment.
I have several scribblings saved on my computer. These are blog postings that I never actually finished. I plan to re review them and if possible they may find their way on this blog. Then again this could be the last one.

So I guess that is about it. But one final story.......

As a senior in high school I was once again placed in an advanced English class. Mrs Hightower was one of those teachers that everyone feared yet respected. My grades in her class was pretty much as they were in all my other classes C s with a few B s. Mrs Hightower knew that I had potential but to be honest all I wanted to do was hear the bell ring for sixth period and go to either football or baseball practice. For one six week period we had a student teacher. Our project was to read various allegories and then write one. Mine was the story of Three Little Pigs. (with a twist). That was actually the name of it. One pig was all white (Yorkshire), the other was all black (Mulefoot) while the third one was spotted (Poland). It was 1968 and there were three persons running for President. Richard Nixon, Republican, Hubert Humphrey, Democrat and George Wallace, Independent. My allegory was written to describe the various political positions of each. I assigned a pig as each their characters. I carefully crafted the story while placing my own personal spin on it. I was very proud of my work. I turned the paper in and within a few days, I received the paper that was graded by the student teacher. I received an F. The first and only F I had ever received in high school. I was stunned. I asked the teacher and she informed me that it did not read as an allegory nor did the story make any sense whatsoever. She told me she thought it was pure nonsense therefore she gave me a failing grade. Well , I pretty much accepted it. A few weeks later my six week report card was given to me and I had a D in English. My mother went ballistic and ranted on how I needed to straighten up and try learning for a change. I told her about my paper and I even showed it to her. She instructed me to take the paper to Mrs Hightower and ask her opinion. I did and I received the paper back a few days later. The red F had been changed to an A. My teacher "got it". My report card was changed from a D to a B. Mrs Hightower submitted my paper to the school board literary committee and it was published in one of their publications. To this day, it is the only thing I have ever had published. I wonder if anyone else "got it".

So we're are at the end of my blog journey. Once again I ask myself if anyone "got it". But........ this time I also wonder if they ever will.


"But the truth is I could no more stop dreaming than I could make them all come true"


Amen


Tom